Welcome to Andy's Mark Twain Quotes

Mark Twain was a brilliant man. He wrote some classics that we all suffered through in 9th grade English, but was also the originator of some of the funniest quotes and stories ever. Enjoy some of his funniest stuff!

Mark Twain Quotes

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

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